It is a Saturday and my coffee is strong; it always is with my trusty little French press. I have already been out to the back-40 to feed the 17 chicken’s, we don’t have time for all their names right now but the youngest is named Hope. She is a Black Copper Maran that will produce the most beautiful chocolate eggs when she is ready. Hope’s name derived from the fact that she was the only survivor of a shipment of 6 little chicks; she could be called nothing else. Hope more than likely will be the last little chick I add to my flock for a few years as well, maybe. You never know what happens in this thing called life; I try my best to stay in the moment, enjoy it all, and take it in stride. No matter what.
There is this little saying that goes around in the circle that I run in, it is a rather large circle by the way, it is- “don’t leave before the miracle happens.” Well it took me a long time to figure that one out for myself, but I did finally get it. What I have found through that process was that I was indeed, “the miracle.” All the things that happen in my life are the miracles and blessings that I get to enjoy. I do enjoy them all, even the not so fun moments that I get to learn and grow from. I might not exactly enjoy them in that moment, but I have learned so much from them; enough to now appreciate them as they come as opportunities to grow from in that moment. Kind of an epiphany.
My latest little miracle happened a little more than a week ago, very few people know, you know. In an instant my little life changed, just a bit. My eldest daughter Marina, who is just 25, showed up on my couch sleeping-alone. That alone part was the tough part. You see, Marina is a mother of two. She has a seriously stable life, career, family, and she had even moved away, with him, and taken my little grandbabies to another town for an opportunity to grow in her chosen field. Just a bit more about Marina and I, she was removed from my life along with her brothers and sisters in 1999, with good reason for just over 10 long years. I truly had no clue how much time had passed, that is the life that I had chose and those choices would lead me down a path that I almost didn’t survive. I did though, I would come up a few times for air, into that circle I spoke of; but I would make the choice to leave a few times before I stayed.
That little saying, “don’t leave before the miracle happens,” I never got it before. Probably because I just fooled around in that circle and I wasn’t ready-yet. However, that last shot of air I had proved to be what I needed. Things were happening in my life and in my children’s lives that I had no clue of at the time; I believe it was a Divine Intervention that brought me back. I had left that circle again, one more time. Well my daughter had heard I was alive and heard where I was, she thought. So Marina, at the young age of 16 ran away to the last place she knew where her mother might be. She was wrong, I had made the choice to go away again; I was long gone already in so many ways. I left before the miracle had happened, my child finding me; clean. That was the miracle-I missed it that time.
Marina on my couch a few weeks ago, that is my miracle today. She has always had a key, but never really used it; in fact always said she couldn’t find it. What has transpired over the past week is I am a part- time, full- time grandma again. She went back and got her babies. I was able to share with her what it might be like if she didn’t; she was never going to leave them, she is not like I was. My home is full and my daughter is under my roof for now. Marina hasn’t been under my roof since she was 6 years old. I have all three of my daughters in my home, I really just realized that as I typed out these words, I also have two grandsons who have electronics glued to their little hands. We will work on that part soon enough. We also have an air mattress, food, and lots of love; thankfully we have two bathrooms too.
The gifts I get around here, that circle I run in, are immeasurable. The tears of absolute joy and gratitude that fall from my face daily I just can’t describe, they are falling now. I don’t know how long Marina will be here? I am just a stop on her journey and ever so grateful that this time when she came looking for me I was there; in my home waiting for her with no judgments, just love. The fact that I am here for her now; that is the miracle. That is my miracle. I will stay on this journey that I am on, no matter what. I once pulled a little strip of paper out of a bag that was chosen just for me and that was, “Divine Wisdom Guides You.” I believe that, so I will just keep going down the road on the path that I am on.
The Chicken Lady